The Other Side of the Door

*singing*
You are my sunshine…
My lovely sunshine,
You make me happy
When skies are grey
You’ll never know dear
How much I love you
Please don’t take my sunshine away.

She works a nine to five and walks slowly to the elevator.
As the doors close, her mind races on the next time she will find solace in the woes of an office clerk.
She runs to the car and races to the kids. The clock read 6:00 pm and she is already 10 mins late.
She grabs the kids and runs through the door to begin her evening duties.
She whips up a pot roast with carrots, rice, cabbage, some home-made biscuits and a sweet and savory pound cake for dessert.
She arranges the nourishment on the table to be received by the king.
He was, as always, on time and ready for his nightly feast.
He ate with a look of satisfaction with a hint of disgust.

She fears the after dinner ritual and she prolongs the feast as long as she could.
She clears the table and readied the children for their evening rest.

Next Scene...

The door closed and she began to cry.
He has resurfaced and she has to feel the wrath of the beast that lives within him.
He hits her and she falls to her knees.
He pounded upon her crown and caused her to assume a submissive stance.
She has been taught not to weep and to succumb to the treatment that she received as she is the wife and is to be submissive to her husband.
Internally she is dying and he is the repeated offender that continually strips her being of their vitals.
Tonight is the night where she will lose the battle.
Tonight is the night were she will no longer exist and will forever be a child’s memory.
Tonight is the night where that blow to the head, that smack to the face, that push down the stairs, that kick in the back will claim her life and drastically change her seeds.

Tonight we say “Good Bye” to her.

*singing*
You are my sunshine…
My lovely sunshine,
You make me happy
When skies are grey
You’ll never know dear
How much I love you
Please don’t take my sunshine away.
*song fades out*

~Blaque ƸӜƷ (Butterfly)

The Dichotomic P.U.S.S.Y

Today's society, makes me feel like a minority. I feel like I am one of few women left that values my being. I refuse to settle for less than what I want and I determined to get what I am striving for. I am new to the dating scene and while having several conversations, I realized that dating is almost ALWAYS viewed as give and take. Here is what I mean. I want to meet a guy that I can hang out with, catch a movie, go to a show or dinner and have a good time. I do not want sex. I do not like the feeling of having a good time and at the end of the night he is looking for a "reward" like a dog that has just completed a trick. Can't two mature adults enjoy a lovely evening and not have sex as a bargaining chip? This is where I stand and I am a little on the irritated side. This emotion is the muse for the following piece.

Day four's topic: A poem. Enjoy.

Picture taken from: Institute of Whole Life Healing

The Dichotomic P.U.S.S.Y

I am a woman.

I am a black woman

I am a black woman that’s tired of being referred to by what I possess and what I can do to satisfy your pleasures.

I am here.

I am born

I was born and placed here to birth the nation that will succeed us and take over our dynasty.

I am flesh.

I am tired.

I am tired of my flesh being looked upon as a five course meal with my birth canal as dessert.

I

AM

A

TIRED

BLACK

WOMAN

THAT

WAS

BORN

HERE!

Pussy… Pussy… Pussy… Yes I said it. Don’t be bashful and shake your head and turn your face into a frown.

Don’t be shy NOW, this is what you call the most sacred place on earth.

This is how some of you refer to your private place.

Pussy is the word that many people use describe the gold mine that I have hidden within my chocolate thighs that I have closed off from the outside world.

A word that is uttered by those that have not taken the time to understand and value its existence.

My divine female genitalia should not be describe using the same jargon that’s used to speak of an animal that walks on all fours and eats its meals and clean itself with the same tongue.

Is this is how females pride themselves? Is this why finding a virgin is a hot commodity?

Me…

I am a black woman, a queen, mother of all civilization. My womb is not meant to be used, abused, mistreated and thrown away.

Through my virtuous place, I give birth to the next generation of Kings and Queens.

I have no time for P.U.S.S.Y. talk. I will not allow P.U.S.S.Y to drive me and I will not allow it to dictate my destination.

Providing Useless Sex while Sacrificing Yourself or PUSSY like many call it is far beneath the destiny in which I’m driven. I have purpose and it does not involve being a sperm receptacle to many who do not and will not take me as their wife, make a home with me, and start a family.

This is how I feel...

This is who I am...

Take it or leave it...

Thank you *in my R. Kelly voice*

Coming of Age

Yesterday, I missed the opportunity to write, so today I will make up for it. I must say that life is looking bright this week. I recommitted to a more Fit &Fabulous lifestyle. I made the initial promise to myself, as many do the first of the year. I changed my eating habits, which wasn't very hard. I started working out with Anowa Adjah doing the Full Body Curvedown. OMG!! This workout is the great. I went from not being active at all and I was able to follow along with her routine.Confession: I must say that after the first two days, I stopped for the remainder of the week. My legs were so SORE! Yes, I know that is a sign that I was doing it correctly and I had to push through the pain. I mean it hurt to sit down, it hurt to stand up and stairs... I hated them. Anowa's workout put a lot of emphasis into squatting and toning muscles. I love it. So, today, I began working out again.I did some cardio and a little strengthening. I want to get back to Anowa's routine so I will work that in this week too. 

Yesterday's topic was: Story Setting 70s, 80s, 90s. Since I was not around in the 70s, I will tell a story set in the early 90s.

I am the middle child but I was 10 when my little sister was born. At about the ages of 5-7, my father and my uncle would gather my cousins, sister and me and take us to "Wild World", which is now called Six Flags. This was the highlight of the summer for us. My sister was the oldest and my cousins were two years older than me and I have a cousin that is 9 months younger than me. We would have SO much fun.

The first time we went, my father and uncle tried to get us to ride all the rides. In retrospect, there weren’t many rides there. J We went to the pool, splash around there and then spent the rest of the day trying to dry off on the rides. Every other time after that we stayed in the pool ALL DAY. We loved the “Wild Waves”. We rented a raft that seated two or four and would wade until that buzzer sounded. We knew the buzzer meant the waves were sure to follow. None of us could swim so we had to stay close to each other. (smile) Those were some fun times!

Now, my cousins and I aren’t as close. We don’t see each other as much. That is expected because we are all grown and have our separate lives. I just wish that we could get that bond back. Yes, we had our disagreements but we remained close.

This didn’t turn out to be a story per se, but I learned a while ago to stay true to what comes out of my heart. My fingers and thoughts are a direct line to the chambers of my heart. Here it is.

Relationship Views

It is day two. The sun is shining and I feel a little bit better than I did on yesterday. Did you know that there is a direct correlation between your mood and the weather? My personal experience is that on days when the sun is not so bright or not shining at all and the clouds are in the forefront, I am more subdued, relaxed and sometimes depressed. So you don't think my statements have any grounding, check out this blog. According to fellow blogger, John Grohol, PSY. D., Weather Can Change Your mood, in his blog, he cites several studies that were conducted to prove that not only sunless days but humidity can alter ones mood. I strive to make every day a great one but I do fall short. I am a work in progress too. 

So in following the Writing Challenge. Today's topic is Past or Current Relationship. 

(I am a few days behind but I will complete the entire challenge)

I am in love.

But not in the matter one would think.

I love the idea of being in love.

Yeah, that seems strange but hey, it me.

I am in love with the idea of having one to hold me, to kiss me, to make me feel wanted.

That's the kinda love I like.

The kind that is gentle, that is loving and non pretentious.

Love.

What a complicated emotion to try to understand.

Single life.

Yes I am single and trust it is not easy.

I often wonder what the other side of the scale would feel like.

I want to get married and be the perfect mate, but is that really a plausible goal?

I was raised to be a “nice girl” so that I can meet a “good man”.

But isn’t all of that relative? 

What defines “nice” and good”?

Man, forget all of that.

I am in love.

I am in search to find that one to share it with.

I want to share the type of love that is undeniable, non fictitious, warm and fuzzy.

The love the have you skipping to work in the morning. 

And running home at night.

The love that is unassuming but will always be there.

Yeah, that type of love.

I am in love.

In love with the idea of being in love.

But.

In order to love another, I have to

First

Love

Me.

~Blaque

Writing Challenge: About Me

On a dreary day as today, I was in need of an outlet. While perusing Facebook, I saw a blog for a Writing Challenge. In the recent past, I used writing to express all of my emotions. When I stopped writing, I begin to present with multiple illnesses. I became stressed and started having issues with mood stability. So, after some much needed introspection, I decided that I needed to resume writing. This challenge is literally saving my life. 

Today is day one of the challenge and the topic is: About Me

I am

A ball of confusion wanting love, lust and affection.

I am 

A soul lost looking to find a savior and a guide

I am 

A lover and protector to those that I hold dear

I am

A friend and I tend to shoulder the burdens of others

I am 

That invisible one that many forget about

I am Me.

Looking for love and searching to be free.

~Blaque